one more question, do you know why i woke up with 5 pounds of quarters, nickels and dimes in my pocket?
During sex she told me I could do anything I wanted to her. You remember that toy lightsaber we bought at Wal Mart?
it was funny though when you first woke up you pointed at my shoe and said i need my jacket and then put my shoe on your hand
dude, i was at the student union last night trying to study but some retarded sorority spent an hour voting on the color of the seasons shirts like it was a UN meeting- someone motioned purple, someone objected, and half an hour later after 2 recounts they decided on purple
THERE ARE SO MANY GREAT DICKS IN THE WORLD. HOW DID I NOT DISCOVER THIS SOONER!?
We decided to leave the bar after we shattered a glassand then drive to steal a baby pool for our water festivities tomorrow
Seius question. Does a penis floar when ina baht? Must find out.
I should not be in class today. For the professors sake.
So getting drunk in honor of the bomb threat is legit right?
ARE YOU SAYING THAT YOU DON'T WANT TO GO TO A PARTY AT AN ADULT STORE WHERE A BUNCH OF HOT GIRLS ARE DRINKING
How do I ask where the Jello shot cups are at Walmart without sounding like white trash?
The hardest part about being a child of divorce is when you're at your dad's house but your condoms are at your mom's house.
I was christened with Fireball shots by some guy at the bar. I'm practically Jesus now.
You threw away your W2 to make more room in your purse for liquor.
Look, if it comes down to it, I’m spraying whipped cream on your nuts
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