I texted him about a book we both like. I was expecting a "ya great book... let's bone" response. It didn't work
Somedays I wish I were a bird. Then people wouldn't be so grossed out when I vomit
I'm in class. I'm not opening a page with the words "death erection" in the link. There's people behind me lol.
There are bruises on the top of my foot. The pole won.
Im so excited to get permanently banned for life from all the old bars again, it is gonna be christmas after all
I find it worrying that she bit me in bed. Then proceeded to write her name in bite marks. All without ever losing the rhythm of our fucking.
Im organizing a group to help fondle my shoe. Too many shots dude. Too many.
I've been buying my puppy dildos for chew toys. I can't wait till a girl comes over and my dog is gnawing on a giant black cock
It's sitting in bleach right now. You will be the creepiest coolest dude in my book if you made a bracelet from my tooth.
Sorry about the flaming shit on your door
I never thought I'd be in my late 20s and send that text
....she made me stop for like 3 minutes so she could talk to her cat....
I am thinking about buying a decorative chest for all our sex stuff....
my nose is crying tears of wow.
Tonight was a total waste of a shaved vagina
And you tried to get me to have sex with you in our Harry potter closet lol
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