Just got kicked out of the ocean for being "unsafe".
zippers are such a cool invention
dude they were twins that means they were both only 17
Family bonfire. I just discovered my cousin drank an entire bottle of champagne at the age of 7. I just got showed up.
Now you have tequila AND fuzzy slippers. Fuck you. I want that to be MY night.
I just tripped out to the Angel of Music from Phantom of the Opera in my car. Wayyyy to high for shuffle right now.
he has decreed that i can sleep with anyone who has the same name as him. line up all the toms
idk, it started getting weird when they were looking up videos of lesbian giraffes
You can't just call animal control when you're drunk because there is a bug in the shower.
But if you were going to pour a liquid on your naked body in fall its definitely pumpkin inspired something.
yeah im watching him make his speech now. cant take him seriously tho. hes talking about funding for education and all i can think about is how ive seen what he looks like wearing womens underwear...
I just remember yelling "BODY SHOTS BODY SHOTS BODY SHOTS" while I was streaking
like don't tell me my baby smooth vag offended you
Have you ever given your heart and soul to someone and they turn out to be nothing but a great fuck that makes a mean grilled cheese because same
I jerked off 12 hours ago exactly. I owe it to my penis to get laid.
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