Pre-pickelized cucumber-hand invasion!! RUN!!!!!!!!!!
i want tt clbm rinabw nd ride uncrn
what?
i wnt tto climb a rainboww and ride a unicornnnnnnnnn
I'm convinced that Kathy Griffin and Andy Dick are the same person...
it was a sick party until you insisted on putting on "that's how I beat shaq"
I think I just tested my sobriety limits for unicycling.
This guy in a neck brace is ordering bottle service at the strip club. Not sure whether to applaud his commitment or scorn his addiction. It's a draw.
i know i said i'd always be there for you, but i'm beginning to think that what you call "being there for me" the american judicial system calls reckless endangerment.
I was convinced to buy a man thong.
But it's Armani so it's okay.
God I just out gayed myself.
After sex he cried I didn't know what to do so I patted him on the back and went to the kitchen to make waffles
I've decided that it's a bad thing. But I've also decided that I don't give a fuck.
I spend so much of my life shaving my body hair off and I want nothing more than his beard in all my hairless places.
I made out with a 40 year old and told her we were dating then got kicked out of a gay bar. This is the day I stop drinking.
just woke up with a trucker hat, half a grilled cheese, and popcorn spread everywhere. last night must have been good.
So, 'head before the store' turned into a fuck fest, & that's how I ended up at the grocery store smelling like a cum farm on Black Friday. How's your weekend?
The best walk of shames are on the highway
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