They have glow in the dark condoms. That's so scary.
Something like a penis light saber.
Yeah, i think she was German or something.
No dude, she's just got a speech impediment.
she wants me to text her or call her all the time when we are apart...this is not high school...
Their house warming gift for us was a half case of keystone and getting the cops called..
Worst relationship ever. Keep in mind I've dated two married chicks and a Mormon.
Dude. I only took a 20 out the ATM last night. How do I have 83 ones?
You stole from the strippers again. I wish I was ninja like you
is it sad that i can honestly say it was the best birthday sex i've ever had and it was still terrible?
Weirdest sensation ever: having your penis fall asleep. It was like tiny hulk hogan was choking it out
He sent me a mirror pic of himself and sent it to me and all i could think about was the amazing bong hits i took with his roommate in that bathroom.
You is good. You is important. You is a slut.
I think everyone at the office can tell I'm dehydrated
you mean still drunk
I've heard it both ways
I'm too pretty to be this sexually frustrated.
Can you get the dildos out of the shower before the maids come?
I feel like a dancer trapped in the body of a math instructor. Love, Mom
It's like a donut of clothes around a pair of heels. Like they were transported to another dimension naked.
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