Facials are how you say "I love you" in porn star.
you won't ask to borrow his earbuds because you think it's gross, but you'll have sex with him?
this crazy girl in up in Dennys is going crazy because Bob Saget just texted her.
she always made me post sex PB&Js it was like fucking a trashier Martha Stewart
Apparently I gave him a 'Steve jobs blowjob'
No, he's ok. He just broke his teeth on the stripper pole. No biggie.
You had your shirt off checking IDs at the door and you don't even work there
Apparently it's bring your ugly annoying ass piece of shit slob of a baby day at work
We're taking a shot every time Landon Donovan takes a shot. It's clever, sort of.
Then again, he has huge mansions.
*manboobs.
HAPPY AIDS-LESS FOURTH OF JULY YOU HEALTHY FUCK
Bro, if we got a house, it'd basically be a revolving door for slightly overweight, but extra cute, sexually deviant girls with daddy issues.
That was the first time I ever heard of a female getting road head while driving... thanks for the memory and making me happy ending..
Did you throw up out the back door and cover it with paper towels?
so i might have slept on your bathroom floor last night...
Randomize
