6:33 AM: I'm drunk at this time of morning.
Puking in one of the stalls, a guy ran in and started puking in the other stall... In between heaves we told each other our names; i found out that it was my old best friend that moved away in the 8th grade
i've decided to use this saturday afternoon to take care of my pube situation
it's been like two and a half months. And I swear, I keep seeing walking dicks. I think I'm going crazy cause of lack of sex..
He just "revenge puked" on her kid. I think we'll be leaving soon.
I had to jump out of her car while it was moving enough said
But Alex is drunk in Philly and I told him to come see me so that's "first-love,-drunk,-high,-and-it's-a-snow-day-hook-up-with-an-ex" points. 69
Malibu has added tequila to its rum. It's like when two beautiful gaybies come together an spawn a unicorn that only cries jellybean tears.
Yaaaayyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyy! It has more than one y so my intentions to sleep with you after the drink special ends are clear
what's the proper way to say, "I'm sorry for puking on you and your bed mid hook up then going downstairs and fucking your roommate because you locked me out of your room completely naked...?"
Based on your 5AM twitter activity I gather you found MORE FREE COKE??
Walgreens has pop rocks. Be prepared to get your dick sucked.
We were sad, then we got horny, and then we needed some ranch
Make me food? I don't want to be a science experiment. I'm dunk. Holy shit. Drunk*. Let's do science.
One of the Mormon boys that comes to the door is really sexy and I always think 'I would absolutely destroy your faith'
Randomize