Your face is a jimmy john
happy early fathers day!!!
im not a father
about that...
and i do it all in one night. I'm like santa but a whore.
Just saw the stripper pole on the road that we threw out of the party bus last night
Yeah... I was considering changing that part but the boxed wine is non-negotiable.
Apparently we were arguing for captain seats so I shouted "who has your virginity." I got the seat.
walk of shame to my ortho appointment. kids are staring. this little girl just asked her mom if she can havr glitter in her hair too.
i'll booty call him tonight after the radiohead concert, that way he can see his favorite band and his favorite vagina all in one night.
fat people need to stop using the handicapped bathroom stall so I can have sex in it. it's common logic
apparently, dueling with garden tools in Home Depot is strictly frowned upon
It was like coming out my mothers vagina again in slow motion
Way to go. Now you have no beer and I have a cold tit.
Where you been?
Please tell me this is a booty call
I will not abuse the gift that was given to me
You were given a vagina and you abuse that pretty hard
i feel like i got punched in the face....
you did....
Randomize
