dude facebook disabled my account because im registered under a false identity. now in order to get it back, i have to prove that it's really my name. i sent them an email and had to sign it "Cordially, Lloyd Pancakes"
WISH UPON A TAMPON
They constantly get farther than me.
tampons.
Your ass just called me, someone was yelling "awful waffle" and also, " I don't know who's hands are who's anymore"
all i know is that each time we woke up we were at a different chinese restaurant. help.
apparently it was the return of drunk burrito sex.
So hungover. They actually hid easter eggs around me.
Law school has no idea what kind of prospect they have coming in. I just convinced a cop not to take me to jail by asking him if he really felt like cleaning puke out of his car tonight.
He walked straight into the wall, said "excuse me ma'am" and continued back to his dorm room.
Ohh man. That was a snatch-waxer with a score to settle.
Come to office depot with me I need help picking out a daily planner that will help me keep all of my casual sex dates organized.
My penis is saying yes, several less important organs are saying noo...
I went shopping for a dress that was baptism and bar appropriate.
CURSE YOU AND YOUR SEXY LOGIC
Updates: Made out with a teletubby last night in the middle of the street #lifegoals
YOUR VAGINA IS SO CUTE IT'S LIKE A LITTLE MACAROON
Randomize
