I want to bang chis in dee ass burt he be hating on me times two. Me be tryin ti love onu
Bendover
Well, I guess that settles the question of how thick the walls are in my building.
Is it weird I want to fuck the cartoon chick from e-surance??
we boned then he told me that he had a thing for my gay roommate. worst night ever
Had to crawl to the kitchen this morning cuz I was too hung over but really wanted fruity pebbles. yes. I ate fruity pebbles on the kitchen floor.
I just saw him carrying his little sister while walking his puppy. And he was shirtless. I swear my ovaries just exploded
He's a cat fanatic .. That was not in the fine print when we started fucking
Yeah I fingered her in the crowd and the dj saw it and gave me props over the speakers. I got so many high fives.
Officially drug you out of White Castle last night by the hood on your sweatshirt after you cussed out the attendant and stole the satisfaction guaranteed sign because they were closed!
And then we felt it necessary to continue drinking for another 4 hours, yikes
I woke up sandwiched between them, all of us naked, and they were just sharing a cigarette, a donut, and the paper like it was just some normal post-threesome Sunday brunch.
I'm still a bit day drunk and decided to go for a run. You may get a snapchat of me vomiting soon
Also, there's definitely not a non-hilarious way to ask to stick something up your butt.
But at least i made friends with the nice lesbian cop. She knew i was her kind when she had to confiscate my rainbow/pride rolling papers.
Okay, this next statement may sound like a red flag but I'm tellin you, shotgunning those two beers really helped me love my child more effectively. Honest.
So far 2 of my professors caught me looking at their dicks
Randomize
