it seems that i get a boner from just about everything now
She forgot my birthday again. How do you forget something that came out of your vagina???
i dont know everytime i see her teeth i get erectile disfunction
I am nonfunctional stoned. I had to ask ben to put me somewhere away from all the people I'm sitting on someones bed watching a wall. Not alright. Should not have come.
Using our apartments online floor/space planner to see how many beer pong tables we can fit. Dont think they had this in mind when they put this thing online.
Probably not lol but were fitting as many as possible
im actually so stoned and hungover i feel like a bag of jello stuffed into a human shape
They didn't have a "sorry I was late for your birthday party because I was getting arrested" card.
I WOLD FCUK YUO INTOO THE MOON
THE MOOOOOOOON
I'm spending my Sunday wishing the entire Patriots offense would let me touch their manhood
Nothing showshows the government the middle finger more than spending your tax refund on drugs
We got drunk, we had raw sex and we discussed about the showrunner change in Doctor Who, in that order.
I have successfully trained your dog to bring me pudding cups!
I thought the dude was just really enjoying his piss but apparently he was jerkin off into the urinal.
You’re sleeping on my couch so you’re not making dick appointments tonight
honestly if there were pictures of last night i would be embarrassed.... im embarrassed without pictures
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