dude i just heard a girl tell another girl 'what part of im trying to get laid tonight dont u understand?'
needless to say i wont be back home tonight
I wish life was like the Sims. Right when you're pregnant the music would play and I would just know instead of agonizing for the next two weeks.
If we were unicorns we would fly together. Like in a pack. A pack of flying unicorns.
I just remember thinking that if i ran really fast through the house, no one would notice i was naked.
Well you are. Awfully cute even. Like baby bunnies. And tiny, tiny penises. You know.
I JUST REALIZED HOW SOFT YOUR TABLE IS! and I also just started rolling
Dude, you disappeared somewhere on the walk back and shortly after we got a call from your cell phone from this guy explaining that him and his roommates woke up to the smell of burning pizza and a naked stranger on their couch.
Every time you started making out for him we all cheered for you... that's what sorority sisters do - they cheer you on when you make bad life decisions at the bar.
It's like a teen mom casting at the Obgyn's office. I feel great about my positive life decisions.
You sent 2 glasses of water to the table next us and told to the waitress they were on you. I repeat: water
Judging by his bulge. This guy is going home with me. Who doesn't want a dick that looks like it used to be a pillar in Rome.
He finger blasted me like an angel dude
Shia just rubbed his beard the way I do all the time and maybe he's my soul sister. This live stream is life changing.
Idk if I deserve a medal or a one way ticket to hell
Fucker was flying a Bruins flag. He can pick up the dog's poop himself.
Randomize
