Well, its 5:30am and you haven't let me in, I guess ill go home
You admitted to me in secrecy that you want to jerk off a unicorn.
i just won an entire level on word mole with the word 'clitoris'
I'm not sure where but someone shit somewhere in the house
I thought it was kinda weird that her ten yearold sister was playing bartender, but hey, the girl makes a damn good drink
I woke up with his condom in my mouth. I actually use them now you should be proud of me.
I'm on the same pooping schedule as a professor I've never had. He now says what's up to me in the hallway
Update - might be back in your neighbor's good graces. She liked the framed photo I gave her of me on the tractor with my business out.
oh. oh my god. i just had lunch with my mom with semen still on my face.
If muffins & morning blowjobs don't make him happy, frankly, I don't think anything will.
We watched Purple Rain and then proceeded to have sex while listening to the album. If that's not exactly how Prince would want people to honor him, I don't know what is
I definitely fucked a Trump supporter last night but I wouldn't let him fully admit it because then I would've had to leave and his cock and abs were too perfect
Why am I sleeping on top of the fridge?
You were playing hide and seek with the dog. she couldn't find you and you passed out.
He said he loved me more than Kel loves orange soda
the result of growing up in the '90's
Recliner chair sex has moments of worry....just don't.
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