I had a good time, probably would have a bigger headache today if you were in town.
he then started listing things that have been up his butt, never drinking in boys town again
can you imagine how much money lesbians save on birth control?!?
bitches.
He had in his status he loved beating off and tagged his wife. another reason facebook should be for college.
Correct me if I'm wrong, but I did not stop moving last night. If tequila gives me that extra push to have an active lifestyle, so be it.
that freshman chick we always see on the weekends walked into art class wearing a jaegermeister shirt and holding a monster, which she proceeded to shotgun with a pair of scissors. It sickens me to know I will never achieve her level
I have your car and your sandals. My shoes are somewhere under the puke couch. Safari time.
there is a guy passed out on top of me and i don't know what to do. help if you're awake? was anyone anyone expecting someone? maybe he found the wrong room?
i spilled a box of white cheddar cheezits on the bathroom floor about 2 days ago. when i went back to the house he yelled at me from the bathroom: "THANKS FOR THE CHEEZITS, I'll ALWAYS HAVE A SNACK FOR WHEN IM SHITTING NOW!"
well at least now you can say you got an STD from the frontman of a band no one's heard of
fuck you.
I shaved my entire vagina for a man who had the personality of a potato and a C- orgasm. Life is a series of disappointments.
It shouldn't be this hard to find someone who you haven't blown.
I love you even if you are fucked up. If you fall, i'll just get on top of you.
I definitely almost just pulled a condom out of my purse instead of money for my dad.
You are, as of last night, the self declared king of pooping. Long may you reign.
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