I think I might be in your shoes. Except they are actually my shoes. Either way these shoes are wasted.
so my aunt is sitting on the couch, eating a brownie and watching the biggest loser saying how it's not that hard to eat healthy
man i love america
Seriously... There's something wrong here. I'm drinking vodka to mask the smell of chocolate on my breath before I get home and he finds out. I fucking hate couple dieting...
I think being a buddhist has made me a better drunk
That was a $3000 rug we rolled him down the hill in.
She said she couldn't sleep with a guy who had blood stains on his ceiling. I tried to explain it wasn't my blood, but she still left :(
I was fucking trucked by the swat team last night on State Street after UK won. But I got a picture with the guy afterwards so I forgive him
Then she cat effected the picture of my dick I sent her the other night. I'm in love.
I'll just tell your children you were the queen of drunk town and you had a giant purple monkey named bongo
Come on down you're the next contestant on "lets go drinking!"
We climaxed at the same time during ain't no mountain high enough. Does it get more cheesy or domestic for a non relationship?
He once bought a dildo and put fifty dollars and a happy anniversary note in the battery compartment I gotta lock him down while hes available
Looks like taco salad for lunch. I may have died and gone to be better circle in hell than I thought.
This conversation went from me banging other women's husbands to learning about baked goods. If that isn't personal growth I don't know what is.
He pulled out the guitar, sat in tub, and took requests while she puked her brains out in the toilet. I think he loves her.
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