don't wear any deodorant. we have to do everything we can to sabotage this wedding
After a valiant attempt at golf, I think it's time for Tiger to go back to doing what he does best- having sex w/ blond, white women.
He is offering to pay me back by sending me a dick pic.
.......................................
My thoughts exactly.
She stumbled in with some guy, woke me up, introduced him and said "This is my sister. She's a freshman. She probably hates you."
Sorority life is like alcoholic girl scouts, plus douchebags in polos.
That's what I'm here for. To bitch slap you into believing in yourself.
This is the third time that ive slept with him. He bought me more milk. I can feel the romance growing.
Have you SEEN his girlfriend?? Or talked to her? Christ almighty I'd drink every day just to die let alone black out
Oh yeah I remember when I first saw Kyler's balls. If there's anything high school swim prepared me for, it's the amount of testicles I would see here
Drunk Sam makes promises that Sober Sam can't keep
I DID NOT GO INTO HOURS OF STRENUOUS LABOR FOR YOU TO LOOK LIKE A DOMINATRIX BARMAID ON A WEEKDAY. AT LEAST SAVE IT FOR THE WEEKEND GDI.
Our house drank 90 beers yesterday afternoon before 8pm so add that to the list
On a scale of 1 to shit show you were "i just pissed myself"
Your friend was nice but you didn't have to bang her in my kitchen...just sayin.
cant one of your roommates drive you?
You came in my eye once. You owe me.
ill be there in 20
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