i kno its fucked up..but id rather sleep it off than seek medical attention right now
you texted me last night and told me you couldn't find the toilet.
That explains the puddle of pee in my closet.
hey did I tally my arm again of # of shots?
nope, you were tallying rejections at the party
sex in a ball pit. and I thought ghandi did great things.
You layed on my kitchen floor with a pile of m&ms at your crotch, said "your lightbulb don't match, is that one new?"
They shoved things up my nose I feel violated
So I went tanning and I burned my boobs.
They're like sad pomegranates.
He asked me not to hook up with anyone else because it would hurt his feelings.. while his arm was around his pregnant girlfriend.
I wish to strangle
whoa there darth vader
I was just thrown into the pool and now I'm surrounded by men... You would think this is the dream but I'm just confused
I also woke up in a guys bed in a Reptar shirt yesterday morning staring at a movie theater sized poster of the not as popular Air Bud franchise movie Super Buddies.
Jealous. I want an iud. Maybe there's a late night bodega that'll insert one for me
So you broke your ribs while fucking? Dude you just got about 25% hotter.
why did i wake up in the bathroom?
we had to stay with you a while until we convinced you it wasn't safe to wash your face, then you fell asleep with your foot in the toilet.
Hot fire fighters installing my closet. Don't know how to go about this. Gonna nonchalantly take my shirt off and see what happens..
Randomize
