Ross. Joey. Chandler. Who would you do?
Last night, my friend changed all my contacts in my phone. I have been texted by Batman, Donatello, and Hermione Granger. I have no idea who they are, and it doesn't upset me at all.
so when we got to the frat house he had a travel sized toothpaste and toothbrush for me and gave me a pair of his shorts and a girl's sorority t shirt...something tells me he's done this before
writing the newer testament. It's the 3rd for the series. I'll update u the rule changes later.
they named it eva bongoria. i had to hit it based on the name alone.
I have a feeling that watching gay porn with you was the reason I was dancing in a hurricane of floating dicks in my dream last night.
by 11 am we'd already been drunk twice. how much lower can you go?
Hahah what did you even say to him?!
That I was gonna inflate his vagina with a leaf blower?
Oh.
Did u smell a guys dreadlocks in the McDonald's drive thru line last night or did I dream that?
Fingerblasting some girl on the deck tryna get her to fuck on a lifeboat
So apparently I was a completely different person lastnight, one who drinks scotch and makes out with 55 year old men who look like inspector gadget
Found another bruise from Saturday #stopliquor2014
You're acting like you didn't chug fireball, like duh you have bruises you drunk betch
I was on the verge of being completely over him and then he went and made his Instagram not private... ITS LIKE HE KNEW
Just paid for birth control in all ones do you think she is judging me?
are you comparing glasses to pregnancy
Randomize
