Needless to say when I told my parents they loved me less
I start off june hungover/still drunk stumbling down my driveway with the trashcan at 6am..it's gonna be an interesting month
Who's your beautiful friend? Please include the words "Straight", "Single", and "Legal" in your response.
No shame. Just smoked a bowl with a Norwegian. Feels like something to cross off a list.
He had a huge mole on his dick. Genetics has cockblocked him for life.
I'm wearing an NBA shooting sleeve while jerking off...and yes my arm has stayed warm
Why are you covered in frosting?
Friend's birthday situation turned into enlightened cake orgy.
Bring more bourbon. Day drunk just hit another level.
he walked down the highway for 3 miles at 4 am, and got me coffee on the way. i dont think a blow job would have been enough.
the laptop wouldn't balance on his lap. that's how well endowed he is.
I almost went home with him but then my hydroxycut fell out of my purse at the bar and I ran away
So last night took an interesting turn.. Never thought I'd say I had to pick up my glasses off the floor of a strip club
Happy Halloween!! Last Halloween we spent together you got brought home in a shopping cart
if you're not jumping for joy when you see penis then you're looking at the wrong ones.
We watched Purple Rain and then proceeded to have sex while listening to the album. If that's not exactly how Prince would want people to honor him, I don't know what is
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