Dude, I just saw a sixteen year old girl in a catholic school uniform buying a pregnancy test... With a coupon!
it's a little hard to watch the basketball games with my family considering they keep cheering for the guy that i had a one night stand with...
I shouldn't trust a guy I just met with the pull out method. That's a big responsibility.
I came out, you were peeing on the car and when I asked why you said it deserved it because its a rental
You know it's time to cut back when your unemployed drug dealer roommate tells you that you party too hard.
Just smoked pot with a guy who has apparently been living in the woods for over a month. He just walked out of the woods. This is not real life.
the amount of chicks and firearms here is unnerving. this will end awesomely or at the morgue.
Suppose hypothetically u received a request for face time communication with a gentleman who looked astonishingly like a penis. Would you indulge him in conversation? Hypothetically of course.
I think god invented us with two hands so we can grab an ass and spank it at the same time.
I'm sorry but the visual image of you suffocating on vagina is basically hysterical
I got my period today and I cried tears of joy. And then just cried because my cramps are actually killing me from the inside out.
my nurturing instincts told me to take his clothes off
So the makeout sesh? Not so great. His stubble rubbed my face raw, he tried to push me towards auto-erotic asphyxiation, and he licked my forehead. Twice.
last night you made out with a 19 year old on a bar and i woke up with a swede in my bed. lets just say that never happened.
I have acquired a mango...tonight is successful so far
Her name is susan
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