Answer the phone when I call you in a second. Just got pulled over for getting road head, going to secretly put you on speaker phone, this should be good
u know u need to get laid when watching mike wazowskis gf from monsters inc makes u horny
And when I look at him, I just want him to say "I love you" in between deep thrusts and hard grunts.
STOP fucking him and come play in the snow with us!
I'm sorry I compared your vagina to nascar
I had a dream last night where I used the marginal product rule to figure out how much more hangover I got per sip of four loko, econ is taking over my life...
Her desktop wallpaper is a collage of penises she fucked.
My favorite bartender added me on Facebook. Now he can clearly see how under 21 I am
People spilled so much that there was a thin film of beer on the floor. You took a running start, screamed, "SLIP AND SLIDE!" and slid face first through the drywall.
I felt guilty, it was so good!
Guilty? Oh great, I give the Jewish mother-in-law of blowjobs.
You called me a pussy and continued to eat an entire jar of peanut butter with only your hand.
I just got caught impersonating a t-Rex by my boss. Sadly he wasn't fazed by my behavior and acted like it was normal.
starting to feel like a fuck wizard with a magical sixth sense for people fucking.
Shia just rubbed his beard the way I do all the time and maybe he's my soul sister. This live stream is life changing.
I woke up this morning and had to retrieve my clothes from the flagpole, they were using my boxers as a makeshift rally flag for drinking. Yeah last night was a success.
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