so the last visual we have of him for the next 87 weeks is him outside on the ground rolling around yelling I HATE BLOWJOBS
Was that not clear on Friday when I nearly deapthroated two ice cubes?
I petted my head, told my hair it felt beautiful and needed to be let free. Then pulled out my pony tail. Cheers to weed. I lose.
Sex last night was mind blowing. your wife is one lucky lady.
I DON'T WANT TO DEMONSTRATE MY DICK TAKING ABILITIES WITH MY MOM THERE.
I have no idea. But I feel like I could climb a mountain and then have sex on it.
Shut the fuck up. It's not the end of the world. Now come get your asshole bleached with me or we're not roommates anymore.
I found out his moms name, maiden name, profession, and office location, his dads name and profession, his home phone, picture of their house, all of his work profiles, and the cost of their house. All I'm trying to do is find his damn twitter
Ok: all ex-gfs except you from the last 5 years have or are about to have a baby...be on the lookout...
masturbating on the freeway is more stressful than it sounds
He was telling me how he was trying to grow up. And then 2 minutes later, he told me he was tripping on lsd for the first time.
I've officially slept through a hurricane, a tornado and had sex during an earthquake. I'm surviving.
Here's a concept though: eating pasta while getting laid
I just talked with someone about real estate trends in Atlanta then got three blowjobs in a row. Boom.
Was that before, or after strip tac toe.....
Randomize
