just got my goo swallowed for the first time. colors seem so much more vivid now, and more rainbows are outside
we just pregamed for our presentation... gotta love group bonding
He sent me an email apologizing for sleeping with her...and by that I mean he sent a picture of his dick to my school e-mail
There is a reason for guards on beard trimmers I just clipped a wrinkle on my sack so much blood
Other than my penis smelling like an ashtray, it went really well.
at crossfit today a guy shit his pants while deadlifting 405 lbs. coach made fun of him then congratulated him on his new personal record.
Ryan friended me on LinkedIn and it took everything in my power not to endorse him for sexual dysfunction as a skill.
because. if I can't sit outside naked and eat my watermelon every morning then I really don't see the point in moving in with you.
I thought we were but then I freaked myself out. So I kind of geared him up for take off and then cancelled the launch
I did cocaine off my boobs last night. Then I wrote two essays and went on a run. Go me
She'll feel so accomplished if she finally gets to bang me.
Do you ever just feel the storm building inside of you that tells you you're ready for a giant indiscriminate fuckfest?
We went from him going down on me to swapping baby pictures of our moms.
Are these your boobs on my camera?
Put my boyfriend in a chastity cage while he was passed out last night. Now I control his orgasms.
Randomize
