Don't take this the wrong way but I just mistook a trash can for you
she spent the whole night flailing her arms because "primates are the only species who can move their arms like that and we shouldn't waste it"
Do you know how awkward it is to call the bar from last night and ask if they found my leggings?
I was rolling balls and tried to donate blood as an act of kindness to the sick person who would receive it
im sorry but you know it was a good night when you got tasered on the ass and didnt even feel it
LSD in a sugar cube. Dropped it in my whiskey sour and felt like I was rowing a boat.
I'm not wearing underwear, I started my period this morning, and it's super windy. Recipe for disaster?
Are you around on Saturday? Feeling a trip over
Wet with either fear or sexual excitement
I think a mixture of both is appropriate
That's awesome and prob the first time you had an idea of what to do. I'm super proud of you Chelz
Its cos im stoned ! My high self is maturing
Yes she scared me. She had NIPPLE CLAMPS ATTACHED TO A STUN GUN.
He said he remembers me...standing on a snowy roof, smoking a blunt, yelling "you're pretty fly for a white guy" at him. Sounds about right.
This is why we can never be together. Well that and we r married to other ppl but that's very minor detail compared to the coffee issue
The zombie version of you bit my friend's hand. No more zombie crawl for you. Not ever.
Did you pee in the oven last night??
Will u lay on an air mattress with me and drink vodka while we listen to Rick James?
Randomize
