My vagina makes bad decisions like its her job
you told me to make out with him to promote the social success of the sorority
This is not a drunk text right now. This is an i want your dick text. There is a difference.
I am in the checkout line at the dollar store and there is a guy in front of me holding a pregnancy test, a chocolate bar, and fake roses. Champion.
we marched down beaver avenue with lit tiki torches humming the olympics opening song.
i mean, some people chug beer and some people chug hard liquor. some people have good ideas and some people have bad ideas. it's all about perspective.
Like. There is beer on the other side of that door and 6 yards in. If he's not back in 20 minutes to let me in, I am using this tree as a battering ram.
I can't believe I cried over a sausage mcmuffin.
I don't think I have but I might've died. If I have then come get me, I'm in the flower bed. And still game.
If I had cancer, and got to make a wish, id make the organization force your dad to fuck me.
Now the circle is complete. Just interviewed a guy who was a higher up member of the team I worked for in my job before this place
I'm just now starting to feel better... I remembered sleeping on the floor. I was peeing and saw his rug and it looked so comfy
this party is nice, but i have to go home and cry over anime in order to fill my daily quota of suffering
I'm to the point where I just want to get back at him in a hot man sex tornado way.
It’s easy for me to be professional, the tough part is finding the perfect amount of bitchy undertone
Randomize
