we are at a mexican restaurant and the tv is playing mexican porn. dad won't stop watching.
he had more hair on his balls then in my Easter basket
Did the math... it's Magna Cum Laude whether I get a 4.0 or a 0.0 this semester. I'm blacking out now, wake me up when I have to walk across the stage,
Yeah, he said he was getting "welcome back Winnipeg Jets drunk" then puked on his jersey.
If I die, I leave all my liquor in my apartment to you. Be a drunk bitch at my funeral. I wouldn't want it any other way.
KNEE DEEP IN HOES. SEND HELP.
Just saw a guy I fucked in a clown suit in the bar. It's not Halloween. I have got to start making better life decisions.
I just saw a herd of slutty loofahs run down the street...
After hearing her fall down in the shower for the third time, I decided to go check on her.
all I know is this drummer better stop eye fucking me while he plays cowbell. it is way too early for that.
Is it wrong that I get drunk and let him eat me out then fall asleep? He offers me so much and yet I do nothing. I feel like a republican.
YOU BROUGHT HANDCUFFS TO THE WHITE ELEPHANT EXCHANGE AND DIDN'T TELL ME???
Hey do you or anyone you know want to get drunk for free? At 4pm tonight at rctc for field sobriety training for future cops
she just punched him in the balls in front of everyone and yelled "YOU SEE WHAT YOU MADE ME DO"
Hey do you care to explain why there are 3 empty pickle jars next to me when I woke up or do I even wanna know?
Randomize
