i'm not a human right now. not even a dancer.
my dog ran away and came back with a marajuana plant. what are you doing tonight?
When your really high you cant order into a clowns mouth
we managed to turn Dream Phone into a drinking game. don't hate.
the bride spent most of the night apologizing to people she had punched earlier.
We're friends with people in his circle of friends so we're half way in. It's like I've already given him a hand job.
How am I suppose to fully love you when you cant even open up and try to fulfill my midget fantasy
Whoevers house this is has only beer and cream cheese in the fridge. Thats the diet im gonna go on
So the chick throws up over the rail from the 15th floor at the sky bar and I knew I would take her back to my hotel.
The other. Cat spoke to me and left. This shit is laced
The first cat might save me but they are taking out masks
She's trying to feed the TV fried rice and screaming "FRIED RICE AND TEARS". Please bring me more booze.
You know you had a good time when you get the wheelchair treatment in Mexico back to your cruise.
In order to save time, dignity and liver damage, wanna get naked?
We're in a hurricane and you send me a video of you playing with your dick while driving! You wanna die?!
What happened to your back?
Rug burn. My ass is even worse.
Randomize
