Hey look on the bright side if youre preg at least you know it and wont have it in a toilet
oh and i really hope miley falls off this mountain she is climbing
Ever since he's come out, my facebook stalking experience has gotten uncomfortable
Cute you're picking friends over dick. I feel like this is the trailer for a lifetime movie.
I just made a 90's Nickelodeon TV theme song power hour mix...I don't want to build it up but your head might explode
Omg. Some dude is jacking off in Kelly's bathroom.
When you wake up, I have a unicorn coloring book, crayons, mini cupcakes, and booze.
why is "bang the student affairs grad assistant" the third highest thing on your semester goals list
The cop told me I was the prettiest guy he'd arrested in a while. I'm still not sure if it was a come on or not.
i asked my neighbor to open a bottle of vodka once and then we slept together
My cousin was arrested on a class b felony for selling meth out of the back door of McDonald's where he worked. Apparently it was the extra special sauce.
It was a career choice to be sure... Mistakes were made.
I look excited, but its just a facade.
9 am booty call on your ex's birthday. Fuck yea
Is it bad when your own grandmother calls you a whore?
You fell asleep while I was sucking your dick
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