My first STD was from a foam party
bar tonight had a doorbell to get in and last night i saw my neighbors fuck on the balcony, she wore a nurse outfit. Missouri isn't so bad...
We're going on a mission for new porn. And ice cream.
I think any school that has COCKS written on it's baseball hats has their priorities straight.
I just accidentally stumbled into an AA meeting...I think its a sign
his tattoo said carpe diem which i thought was ironic considering his epilepsy
she's bipolar. she literally has TWO facebook pages. one for each personality. this. bitch. is. crazy.
They called me at 5 AM saying they had a present for me
I hope in my next life I'm a sterile trophy wife. With a husband who showers me in wealth and gifts but can't get a hard on. Do you think my karma is good enough for that?
Apparently she saw two women get in a slapping match over a comforter at target yesterday. She said it was awesome. Clearly I take after her.
I didn't want to walk to anymore parties because I found a cat. It was magical.
Done deal I'm dying it right at this moment. I'll need a red Speedo and a half shirt that is extremely tight. Like nipple tight.
Most desperate stoner moment; dropped our hard earned resin ball in the sand, rinsed it off and then did knife hits in the kitchen cuz we broke our only pipe
I need a costume for that party. Even if I'm just taking it off.
Why is "Oprah of drinks" written on my arms?
You said to write it on you, after you kept saying, "You get a drink, you get a drink, everyone gets a drink."
Randomize
