I sat down with you and helped you write your will last night. I was THAT convinced that you weren't waking up.
I don't hate you. My dick is upset with you, but I don't hate you.
Using 'equal to a modern day cock block" in term paper, inappropriate
The fish's death was accidental. We all said a few words at his funeral. Roomie wanted to play only the good die young as he swirled down the toilet bowl
First I must say that I am disappointed to learn that you knowingly have trashy friends with whom you've not hooked me up.
He won't stop licking me..... im choosing your date next time.
the parents are super pissed...made eye contact with the mom while going down on another girl
Dude walks in wearing jean shorts and a graphic tshirt and goes home with an attractive female. EXPLAIN YOURSELF UNIVERSE.
My suggestion is that you just get high and set shit on fire
I can't believe I'm giving you play by plays of this sexting convo. It's like a three way he doesn't know about.
Like its not even midnight and I've already had enough of her for all of 2015
We need to get Harry and Lloyd's tuxedos from Dumb and Dumber. I feel like this is a vital thing that is missing from our lives.
Does sweetest day count when you're spending it with your fuck buddy, high and eating Pizza Hut?
The best part of being a lesbian? If I'm late for work at a hookup's place I can use her make up and peace out. Well and all the sex of course.
I haven’t been this excited since I found out they sold cases of Jack Daniels.
Randomize
