Just threw up off a chairlift. my life is now complete.
Beach body diet is off. Pizza hut worked its way back onto my google chrome top 8
At the time, making out with dudes for keg money seemed like a genius idea. Now I realize it was borderline prostitution.
This santa hat i wore to the bar, served it's dual purpose as a vomit bag.
why does he always try to puke into shot glasses
I sent him pictures of just me in my thong and he replied "you're so sweet, you make me feel special <3".... Oh.
i accidentally sent all my draft messages..how do i do damage control for the multiple "fuck me now" type msgs sent at ten am?
Let me tell you how my drug dealer wants me to take his girlfriends little sister to jr prom
You're cock blocking me from my own boyfriend. What kind of shit is that?
Last night must have been awesome because I went to get in the shower only to find the bat symbol drawn on my chest
That happened during battle shots lol
Oh you know just explaining sexual consent to a drunk 80 year old man. How is this my life?
Well yeah. But im not sure i trust the black out drunk high girl giving life advice
U NO SLUT. YOUR HEART IS JUST FREE.
You woke up at like 4 in the morning fell off your bunk bead, yelled at Nic for asking if you were ok, walked to the kitchen, pissed on the keg, and then looked at me and said "Still not worth it" then went back to bed.
He has to be employed and covid free. That’s my standard. I can’t be picky. 2020 has killed my sex life.
Randomize
