i just heard the ice cream truck outside while mid-masturbation. i stopped and considered running outside to buy one.
Fuck?...well quicky, i have to study...unless you can read my book while i bang you, then it can last four chapters
I can be that talented
her nose should be used as a dorsal fin
Do I buy ice cream sandwiches or a 40? these are the difficult life decisions I am faced with.
Just gave some kid head in the library. Perfect way to end the semester.
I can already almost taste penis in my mouth
You went around chanting "dinosaur period" and drinking tomato soup from the can.
I'm one ex away from doing an entire victory lap of all of the guys I've hooked up with since second semester of freshman year. Single me is scary.
To sum up. The glass blower from the ren faire ate me out last night. Best ever. Go find yourself an artisan.
She was pouring Goldschlager in my mouth during the shower sex. How can you NOT like her?
He's claiming he can open a beer bottle with anything. He's been trying for a while now with a power rangers action figure and he is just cutting the hell out of his hand. There is blood all over billy
Hey, I'm making progress. I haven't thrown up in a bar while wearing a sweater vest in almost two months.
Why is my car covered in what appears to be salsa verde?
barely 48 hours and I've done the dirty on both of my roommates beds before they've even slept in them
Chick in the reindeer getup puked on Baby Jesus last night. But then she bought us all empanadas so she's cool.
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