Got a little crazy huh? Happy st pattys day. None of you have any idea where my credit card would be do you? How do i always lose
I just did your MASH and your life is pretty unfortunate. Youre marrying the tech guy for love. you live in a shack and you're a hooker and you make $1 a day. you drive a brown limo and you have 7 kids
had another sex dream about alec baldwin...
I have sand in every orifice, there are bruises everywhere, and I smell like a distillery. I love summer.
When he goes down on me, he stares me in the eyes like a shark mocking it's prey as it devours it. Plus, his beard smells like dirty gym socks. This has got to end.
After we were finished she said "That was like marriage sex". Should I take that as a compliment or insult?
I know shes my ex. And I know she punched me in the face and stole my car to go get drunk. But it's the best sex I've ever had.
You're sick. Take pictures if you can.
After your flask fell out of your leg brace and you told your RA that it was juice, you tried to unlock your dorm room but your key was attached to your bra so he ended up seeing your boobs
But if you were going to pour a liquid on your naked body in fall its definitely pumpkin inspired something.
Can you get the drug form of snow for the blizzard this weekend?
Nope. Turns put my desperate group message for sex didn't work out.
Well you sent it to two guys who were roommates.
They could have rock paper scissored for it. My vagina = the prize.
you are the root of all my greats nights and my worsts decisions
my life is like one bad, slutty lifetime movie.
enjoying your night?
do dogs like to salsa?
I dont know if that answers my question or not
Sorry. Im too sleepy to penis.
Randomize
