So ps i'm not pregnant with any athletes illegitimate children : )
My parents came down to check and make sure I wasn't into any mischief then proceeded to give me alcohol.
The lack of respect you have for your penis baffles me. I'd rather rub my ball sack on public toilet seats than stick my dick in some of those girls.
A simple 'no' would have sufficed
She said to delete the bj video, but I accidentally hit the 'send to her bf' button. My bad
Just saw a white bronco on my way home from work and the license plate said "NOT OJ"
I am so hungover and cant move but craving a Wendys frosty so bad. I might have to watch 2 girls 1 cup just to settle the urge
I'm crawling around naked in my room looking for my hairbrush. Just thought I'd put that image in your head.
You stood up gave the stripper 15 ones in a wad, hugged her and then sat back down.
But please don't judge me if i smell like mustard
Either call me back or tell me you're in jail. For fucks sake. If this is a cop, just help out. national league.
So after he broke the crutches and got us kicked out of McDonalds, we stole a bike and when we got back to the hotel, he jumped out the window into the bushes.
Yeah when he is drunk, he seems to think he is Captain Americas Canadian counterpart, Captain Canuck
Ps you missed quite a show. I was for some reason whipping my hair back and forth and head butted the tip jar. It shattered and now I have a circular bruise on my forehead. All the bartenders hit the floor to get all the quarters.
Owwww. A manager/ employee sex scandal that DOES NOT involve me! SCORE!!!
Pretty sure I love my nipple piercing more than I'll love my children someday
I'm a teacher who's always telling kids about the importance of due diligence, yet I'm eating an avocado out of a coffee filter because I'm too lazy to wash dishes
Randomize
