It's a sad day when you realize you are no longer above fucking in movie theater bathrooms.
I don't care if he is my ex... I have the deed to his dick until someone else fucks him. We broke up 2 years ago.... I am still holding that deed!
i just burped and it tasted like condom. please tell me i wasn't lame and made that guy wear one for a bj last night.
that awkward moment when your booty call gets snowed in at your place.
oh my god. were standing in the kitchen and were chanting "EYEBROWS" and shaving peoples eyebrows. I have work tomorrow and want to keep my eyebrows.
I just walked into my exam wearing a mans tshirt and Alex's size 13 crocs twenty min late carrying only a pencil and my heels...I'm not real
It's like the last supper of drinking before the summer ends
Happiness for him is a different happiness than you can supply cuz you have life standards, morals and goals that dont include the bar or beer everynight.
I woke up to a 3rd person picture of my own dick sent from a 1-800 number..
I DON'T EVEN KNOW ONE MINUTE IM SITTING HER THE NEXT IM FLYING PASSED THE MOON
PISSING MYSELF IN ZERO GRAVITY
THOSE AIN'T STARS U SEE TONIGHT GURL
put something nutritious in your body. AND NOT JUST THAT JOINT.
get your sex hands out of my capn crunch
How exactly does a handjob become fancy?
Blueberry lube, and champagne.
The longer the dick, the closer to Jesus when you’re on top.
I think my liver just tried to kill me, we need to slow down
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