Don't you send me to vm
My dad just drunkly made a toast in front of my entire extended family "to my daughter the recent and sucessful college and to my son the drunken whore-monger"
First shot of my 21st. 11 a.m. in econ class. Success.
so i think im going to actually use my calories on food today instead of beer.
your mascara is on the toilet seat from when you fell asleep last night
Get over here. It's an emergency. Just realized I haven't hd my mouth on a penis in two weeks. Get over here.
I get credit on the assist, you can thank me by taking a pic of her ass under the covers and sending it to me. It would make my YEAR
Hey just to warn you theres a really fat guy passed out in front of our front door snoring. Don't touch him, he's in god's hands now.
I love spring semester, so many high school girls visiting that think I'm the sexiest man alive just because I'm in college
Aren't you gay?
IT'S NICE TO FEEL WANTED DON'T RUIN THIS FOR ME
Just thought you should know I'm having a reunion tour of Athens this weekend. Minus the weird guy I was fucking last time.
Definitely got a blow job in Charles Schwab's bed last night.
I love my job.
Doing the walk of shame at 1 AM. Stumbled across a rave. This night is epic.
he went down on me while I ate Oreos. I don't know what caused the orgasm.
Lol for real, I'm Kylie Jenner "this is my year of realizing things" right now
She was pretty impressed that I led all thirty of us back to campus in my state of drunk. Evidently so impressed that she now refers to me as "Moses" in bed.
Randomize
