I want to make Jon&Kate babies with him. Not in quantity, but in percentage asian.
Just so you know, each of my boobs fits perfectly in a martini glass.
The size of her hoop earrings are directly related to how much of a slut she is.
Everything about him screamed your future.
don't tell me about being eco-friendly. i just threw up in the same bag i bought my liquor in. RECYCLING
Anderson Cooper just came out.
Crying tears of glitter and rainbows right now. Gonna decorate my dildo like My Little Pony in his honor.
Was it just me or did you also find it awkward when "glad you came" started playing on pandora right after you finished?
Tell me about it. Running across highways take alot outta ya. When he found out, he was all "concerned" about it.
Im having a st. Get way fucked till i speak Irish pre game party. Bring a compass cause we are about to get lost
We need to make boob twerking a thing. I feel like that's why vine was invented
& I just realized there is no vomit smiley. There needs to be a vomit smiley
Well then she has to know whoever you were kissing was in overalls because that's not a detail you just leave out.
YOU RAISED A SWORD OVER YOUR HEAD AND SCREAMED AT HIM WHAT THE FUCK ELSE DID YOU THINK WOULD HAPPEN?!
I am watching a girl dressed up as santa, full on fat suit, try to fight a six foot 200lb man. A reindeer threw beer on everyone. Shit is going down
Can I bother you for a second.
You always bother me but go on.
Randomize
