Like all of my pajamas are shirts of guys I shacked with in college
How come it tastes like onions whenever I go down on her?
a hangover this bad deserves a feeding tube
Why is the garage door in the middle of the street?
Maybe it was that imaginary ghost dick you were stuffing in your mouth a minute ago
He got cut off by the bartender. So he kept buying people drinks of they would i get him a drink. Before you know it him and 8 people were outside the bat trying to get people. To by them drinks
I can't wait till they start promoting the testiciplasty. Turn those old prunes into fresh tight kiwis!
Come get your sister, she's waving a shoe about and threatened to "teabag the Shit" out of the doorman because she can't check the shoe in.
I'm high and dancing to practical magic. Your needs for my penis can wait.
You have ruined sex with him for me. Now all I think is "boy scout" and I want to go home
Imma do four shots of whisky within two minutes and pass out. Otherwise this'll go badly.
I'm gonna tell the medical examiner that your cause of death was over-arousal.
That is priceless. You walk into her house, fuck her husband and demand Chinese food. Your an inspiration to us all.
I am talking to a naked lesbian about robots. I think this means I win life.
It was bad. U were calling my cat "kittiano" and playing her like a piano. Way too drunk my friend.
Randomize
