I promise you 4 toothbrushes taped together and lube does not do the trick
I just stuffed five dollars in my near empty box of camels to remind myself to buy more. And my mom says I don't budget my money
Sarah Palin just got hired for Fox News. Watch out Jersey Shore... there's a new drinking game in town
He showed me a four inch blond hair that grows out of his side. He calls it his little ray of sunshine. Please come get me.
I mean... It's a win/win situation. I mentor the kid for an hour and then I get to fuck his mom. I know deep down I'm helping them both
I'd say the best part of the party was when you screamed to everyone that you were gettin dome on the reg
Those were the days I had no morals... Dark times.
Shall we take a trip back?
It was his first time doing shrooms and we made him ride in the truck bed. But he kept standing up and yelling when we stopped so we had to keep driving
Btw if you ever get emails that pretty much contain 'bwahhhhh jatkkvsweuo' it's safe to assume it's me.
why is there a chinchilla in our apartment, and where did it come from?
question nothing. DON'T QUESTION A FREE CHINCHILLA.
Are you coming down for 4/20 or does Easter kinda fuck that up for you?
Btw, I feel the need to make sure we have no misunderstanding about this. So here goes. I'll happily mess around with you again. However, I probably won't do it while you're dressed like a creepy clown. Or any clown.
Full body rubs, head scratches, foot rubs, massages, a penis that is able to get hard whenever you want it. I mean ive got a lot to offer
I woke up using a beer can as a pillow. successful party?
I don't think getting eaten out in a smart car behind a circle-k on my break by a guy I just met classifies as social distancing, but I'm beginning to love night shift more and more.
Randomize
