just took a sink shower in Arbys bathroom
THEY JUST PLAYED KISS FROM A ROSE TONIGHT IS PERFECT
There's trophy wives that arent even in the 5th grade yet
I didn't mind getting the stomach flu from him. we had great sex AND I'm seven pounds lighter
My room should be renamed "Land of the Misfit Condoms."
Dude you have to stop using "I eat good pussy" as a pick up line
It's going to be nice going to the airport without drugs taped to my balls like last year.
I DON'T CARE WHAT THE CIRCUMSTANCES ARE NEVER VOMIT IN MY PURSE AGAIN.
I made out with him with my retainers in. My drunken hook-ups get lazier and lazier.
I'm a little nervous about this St. Patty's Day party. Seriously, we're still finding stuff from the Halloween party.
Well I checked the bush outside his apartment building this morning, and he wasn't there... So I knew he was home.
Neighbour is sobbing. Difficult to masturbate.
Uber driver has left leg up on the dash and turn signal on for about a mile, there's Chipotle wrappers on the floor, but she's hot. 5 stars.
Idk I've taught my 18 month old how to say nipple so kids aren't all bad
I could not add him. He gets 5 likes on Instagram.
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