was it mean of me to chase him screaming "DO YOU EVER WANT TO BE ABLE TO HAVE CHILDREN?!"?
just chased whiskey with a pickle. i definitely recommend it
there's nothing like that first "just failed out of my program" beer
I incognito puked under the VIP table. Did Jersey proud.
Somehow "stranger danger" turned into making out with a 25 year old on burbon street.
Operation liquormelon is in full effect. We may die tonight.
I might lose an organ but I've got booze. I'll be fine.
why is it ever time u get laid i end up having to clean something twice? you have no idea how hard it is to wash smugged ass cheeks off the counter
there not mine if that helps
You said that about some fat chick sitting on the base of a lamp post and puking. Downright heroic.
Her roomates have been scoring her hookups. I got 8.9, best of the week!
I was blowing him while he was singing Happy Birthday to his girlfriend on the phone. I win.
I'm not a whore anymore. I gave up 90% of my women for you. I'm a 4-5 woman kind of guy now.
Booty called 3 guys from my hospital bed
"Nobody needs to know that I have a vibrating butt plug and nobody needs to know that I'm probably gonna start wearing it at work"
its 4am. iam sitting in the luggage car of the train eating beef jerkey. i feel like a hobo.
dont insult. no hobo is as pathetic as you.
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