I'd rather watch my mom take a shit while reading the sunday new york times than watch mama mia .
that john and kate plus 8 dude has ruined asians for me
I'll let you put expensive food in me, but really, not much else.
How'd it feel making her break her religion?
Does it count if I'm only ambidextrous while masturbating?
the night ended with taco bell and tears
I need you to help me convince Steph that she will like Tequila if she would chase it with A-1
He's cheating on her.
Are you sure it wasn't her?
I have my glasses on, and as long as she didn't change her face in the past two months; its her.
Thanks for the hickies, asshole. I make my living as a fitness instructor. It's gonna look reeeeeeal weird if I have to wear a scarf while teaching Zumba all week.
I am slightly proud of the fact his mom turns on the dryer located behind the spare bedroom EVERY time we visit!
I rewarded myself with Taco Bell tonight for going a full week without punching my roommates in the face or wishing bodily harm on them.
You know you gave a quality blow job when you have to ice your neck and jaw the next day.
I was so high I could TASTE the fillings in my teeth
At about 2:30 i found you passed out in my closet with your face covered in cheese whiz
Did a 4 pm walk of GLORY the next day.
Randomize
