she definitely has that "I'll bang you, but then I'll tell your girlfriend" look to her.
theyre doing shots to celebrate her boob jobs anniversary.
i love how cold weather makes identifying sluts easier. is it below freezing? is she wearing a tube top? she's easy.
he said he doesnt sext because the government can tap that kind of shit too. no boobie pics for him.
I'm quitting my job and I'm just going to become a professional drunk girls mistake.
On my way back to his place to see his "art". Why am I sure this is going to be nothing more than his dick in a box?
For future reference, the blowjob coupons I gave you for your birthday are NOT transferable to pay your friends for tacos.
Cry into your wine glass and then drink the tears, it's like the fountain of youth
You said "this is only my eighth drink" with like 6 separate drinks
Meeting him up for him to pay half of the Plan B was awkward but worth it cause I'm broke as fuck
#tbt to when you let me put plastic wrap on your balls and hum a little song
Listen, some people have dreams, some people just want to cock slap a kangaroo
Rum and your dick are involved. You're relying on the unreliable narrator.
your mom was just petting me...I am strangely comfortable with it
I learned the hard way a garbage bag will not save you when jumping from a tree at 2am
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