just do him I won't tell jon
um i'm guessing you meant to send this to tina, thanks for the support in our relationship you whore
Holy jesus god. My teeth taste like street.
I woke up to him eating cereal out of my viking helmet with a shot glass. No idea where he got the milk.
Dude I swear I heard "geet out!!!" when I went down on her. I shouldve listened.
I told the bartender that he could give me back the tip I gave him if he outsmarted me in a battle of wits. He has yet to challenge me.
There are two things I love in this world. Dick and cats. Why can't I just have dick and cats forever
I told him I'd clean his cock if he ever sent my GF another text message. It was a horrific time for me to miss the l key on my iPhone.
I feel like I should go door-to-door apologizing to America.
I was on all fours trying to empty the bowl we smoked into the sewer when your neighbor came out, but besides that it went smoothly
2015 is a year for health and mental stability and alas we are not yet there so yolo
Just sitting at dinner with my dad...simultaneously texting "daddy" to confirm saturday's spanking and telling another guy to get condoms before Im done with dinner. Don't know when I got so ate up but I'm loving it. You?
Regretting asking you what you were doing.
What's the policy on calling guys who have kids daddy...
I'd like to buy a season pass to your dick please.
I'm just gonna back away slowly and come back when there's less weird crap.
Just sold our expired ticket for a free night of bowling to a drunk guy downtown for 50 bucks. Ill buy beer on my way home
Randomize
