she cant drink. allergic to alcohol.
ewwww. she might as well have a dick.
i have a feeling tonight will end in rehab
The last thing I remember is funneling tequila out of a pink noodle.
It's very clear that i'm the girl sweating out four lokos at 2 in the afternoon at the gym
It was like an alcohol war zone and you left a soldier behind.
max decided it would be a good idea to run down the hall and smack down the exit sign. now we are sitting in the emergency room, and he is wearing the sign as a bracelet
I'm honestly considering asking her if I can eat her out, as a friend.
I just had to break into my old house and steal my sex tape. Good times. How have you been?
She has also never texted me first which I think might be a tell-tale sign she wants me to die alone.
We spent 45 minutes searching the crevices of our friend's car with a pair of tweezers trying to find the acid that we dropped
For a man with no legs he was surprisingly good at doggy style.
I don't know whether to high-five you or stage an intervention.
I woke up just like any other Wednesday. Naked on the floor, hungover and covered head to toe in lube
I don't care if he's the coolest coworker, if he's living in his mom's basement at 30 you should not buy drugs from him
If he comes over I probably get to fuck him and if he doesn't I don't have to pay him the $60 I owe him for weed. It's a win-win situation.
Dude 4th of July week was our like 5th anniversary of you sending me dick pics ❤️
Randomize
