i thought he was 22...he said he was 25..he was 19...im 26..it doesnt count if you dont know right?
Yeah. He most definitely jizzed himself in the face.
HAH. HARRY POTTER CASUAL CONVO HAS BEEN EXTENDED TO DISCUSSING WEATHER. SO PRO
She eyed me up from across the bar and mouthed "I have no gag reflex".
Were driving two hours to st louis so we can pee on the arch. See you in the morning. I might be sober by then.
How in the hell did I take a shot of whiskey to the eyeball last night?
did i mention he attempted to milk her in backseat?
id say bad/good trip...at first I wanted to claw off my skin... but then when i tried i ended up tickling myself for an hour.
One good thing about being a mom now, I can tell which guys I'm dating were breastfed and which weren't... By the way they latch on to my breast during sex! Kinda kills the mood.
His ass WILL be my cock's next vacation home.
I wish I had a dick so I could say shit like that.
I recently had a rabies scare because I thought putting socks on my hands to pick up a squirrel that got in my house was a good idea.
Showed up to the airport to find my fuck buddy is on the same flight. Do you think he'd be intertested in the mile high club?
Howd it go?
Well we had the "no we're not fucking on the porch" conversation but then we totally fucked on the porch. So I'd say alright.
Was cussing out our DD when one of the strippers takes him backstage. WTF
They call him magic hands is all I know.
Somethings are best left a mystery
We're going to watch the inauguration and fuck. Or fuck and watch the inauguration, I'm not picky, just get your ass over here by ten.
Randomize
