A girl just told me I should smile because I was surrounded by hot girls. I told her that clearly beauty was in the eye of the beholder. And she slapped me!
You can't wash away shame.
I can try.
just landed in detroit. Currently holding a bag of my own vomit. neighbor told me it was the most graceful vom she has ever seen. Kicking off bar exam week in style.
May or may not have just drunkenly opened my christmas presents. Greatly disappointed. Might break up sooner.
Best. Four. Twenty. Ever.
Robbie told me you spent 10 mins discussing the curl in his hair and that you said "with that curl in your hair, you'll go far"
I saw you try to drink out of a soda machine at taco bell, don't worry about judging
i just did the math...im a product of my mothers birthday sex
oh and i'm sorry i sold you for three cigarettes last night
I gave him head while he watched NASCAR. My future flashed before my eyes.
Guess who just screamed "Everything happens for a reason!!" in the abortion clinic. This girl.
I felt like in order for him to make it to mordor and destroy the ring, he'd have to make sweet sweet love to me in some form of hut or cave.
Came so hard when I was riding him that I actually bit some of his chest hair off. He said I was the first girl ever to do THAT.
we were making out in my truck and while she was straddling me she informs me that she jerks off horses for a living. Should I be concerned or flattered?
I hate her so much I want to fuck her boyfriend.
Randomize
