woke up to moans and hushed"we can't do this with him in here." hope they had a good time
I just answered "If only I knew" for a quiz in criminology, she loved it. I got an A
At what point last night did I start ordering doubles?
Right after we had the just friends talk..
I wasn't hungover this morning. My head just hurt because someone tried to suction cup a dildo to my forehead.
Just whatever you do please don't lick his face again.
Haha jealous. If I could remember my dreams I'm pretty sure they would constantly be about being drunk in foreign countries
A BJ like that needs to be recommended.
In other news my cocaine dealer got arrested for heaving some kid out of a fourth story window.
Why were my jeans in the freezer of the mini fridge, and how long have they been in there? On another note, I found my teacher's ID badge.
I faked more orgasms with him then ever should be allowed for someone this pretty.
you threw me on the ground pryed my purse out of my hands screaming " I JUST WANNA HOLD IT A LITTLE BIT". later i found you putting on my lip gloss.
Turns out I screen transfered my streaming trucker restroom porn vid to the downstairs neighbors'TV instead of my own, damn you chromecast
His family, without saying anything, started a game of quarters the moment the drinks arrived. I love them. If only I didn't hate him so much.
WHO CARES HE GIVES YOU TOE CURLING ORGASMS AND SAYS YOU HAVE KISSABLE SKIN AND RUNWAY MODEL HAIR....WHILE INTOXICATED WITH HIS BEST FRIEND. AND THEN HE SENDS YOU CUTE SELFIES OF THEM!!!!!!! WTF MORE DO YOU WANT FROM LIFE!!! DIE HAPPY ALREADY LADY!!!
My boss asked me to pass over one of my business cards and instead I had condoms fall out of my wallet, how’s your day going??
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