How did you manage that?
Told her it wasn't GENITAL herpes... just ORAL herpes... on my penis
lol... jersey girls rock
i know they say sex burns calories but i think i actually gained weight from just lying there for the whole 2 minutes
Wearing a Sarah Lawrence sweatshirt is like wearing a shirt that says, "I'm getting a degree in substitute teaching."
It was kinda bitchy last night when i brought up my pregnancy scare and you said "shotty playing with it"
adderall just fell out of my nose in class. guy next to me just nodded.
I'm bringing in a picture of a stranger on facebook to get my haircut. I have reached a new level of creepy.
She just said she finds Tyler Perry funny... this is not going to work.
just witnessed some guy trade his friend $5 and a condom for his keys.
what is the most politically correct way to ask if he still hangs out with the guy that has blue hair and make meth in his car?
We're looking for the removeable roof from her Miata. Winner gets a 40.
Oh no, we smoked the revival weed. It came in a Batman bag. It hit like justice. And orphans.
Hey! Welcome back! How was the bachelorette in Vegas?
A safari of penis I hurt to the core
No man we're leaving now. The party will probably be busted soon. O and a bitch started throwing knives around the place, like real actual knives.
I went with plan f. get drunk and start a fire in my yard
I don't think getting eaten out in a smart car behind a circle-k on my break by a guy I just met classifies as social distancing, but I'm beginning to love night shift more and more.
Randomize
