the reason why you were crawling on your hands and knees from room to room last night was because you thought the ceiling fans were chasing you...
that makes sense.
does my mom think that having an ed hardy lighter is going to get her laid?
Sex tip #67: Jizz in the eye is very near the equivalent to pepper spray. Not recommended for pleasure enhancement.
the recent google searches were "were can i buy a porn horse, why does my heart hurt after drinking, and orlando's teen night..." your thought process perplexes me
If your dick isn't up when i get home you're catching tonight.
About to fuck some random fraternity guy I met at a party. I guess this would be the right time to say I don't want to be with you anymore.
Yeah getting kicked out of the bar at 1 pm really set the tone for the day.
She needs to learn she only fits into our friendship as a DD.
naw. unless you want me to sit in a corner, not understand english and eat all of your cheese then i don't think it's a good idea.
Walked in on my boss having phone sex at work... and somehow this didnt bother nor embaress him
It's a gift. Kind of like morning wood in my brain.
There is a direct correlation between gooch size and male fertility. Science.
I woke up in my tom cruise outfit with my house key tied to my thong....
Did this whole conversation happen while you were shitting?
I can't believe I slept with a girl who has the words shucks in her vocabulary. I'm getting less picky by the day..
Randomize
