i'm pissing behind 7/11. if you guys leave... i'll think it's funny too
We took shots in honor of Shark Week.
I wasn't trying to make you feel bad, I just agreed with you that your life does suck.
My suggestion that we all just smoke some weed was greeted with a uncomfrotable silence and a 'maybe later'. These are not our people
I need to find more Xanax, my Grandpa doesent leave for another week and he's made it a mission to get me to come out of the closet as a xmas gift to my parents.
Dude, you disappeared somewhere on the walk back and shortly after we got a call from your cell phone from this guy explaining that him and his roommates woke up to the smell of burning pizza and a naked stranger on their couch.
candyland with pharmaceuticals ... what could go wrong
It probably would have happened but I just can't picture myself losing my virginity while laying on top of his Quiksilver duvet set.
I just busted my piggy bank to afford McDonald's. This is my personal cry for help.
If you're funny as hell and have a mustache, odds are I'm probably gonna fuck you
Spent the majority of my senior year drunk. Graduate of 2011, I think 2011. Probably.
Seriously just told the plant the cheese Pringles are mine.
I WOULD NEVER MIX DICK AND MCDONALDS
I'm not totally useless... You can use me as an example of what not to do
as a lesbian i'd like to thank joe biden and also america for giving us this absolute MILF for a VP
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