You just made me feel so damn special
Still drunk and leading the team through the 9am sales meeting. I'm pretty sure this is why there aren't more 26year-olds in management.
there's something wrong with the internet when a search for "barney the dinosaur violence" comes up with nothing
What is wrong with this kid? He'll take ecstasy but won't take dayquil?
today's the one month anniversary of me not giving anyone head. can you tell me you're proud
it's sad that this is a milestone
Chasing a shot of svedka with a clementine is NOT the same as tequila w lime...
His "hunger Strike for change" lasted 4 days. Hi welcome to my coke binge last weekend....not impressed
I found an HIV test/information brochure on the kitchen table and what i can only assume to be an "I'm sorry you might have AIDS" gift bag, complete with a candle and popcorn, and I haven't seen you in 36 hours. You good?
Oh Brad. Your poor brain, always being ignored for your penis and crazy women.
Hindsight: Dressing up in nothing but a bra, booty shorts, and police tape made for the most awkward walk of shame of my life.
Too many penises have met your hands. Stop or die.
He pushed a skinny white blonde out of the way just to tell me "you have the finest ass, like ever."
I have never loved a nerdy white boy this much.
Fuck man, my Dad's been single so long I get him a year's sub to a porn site every year for for Father's Day
I round house kicked her emotions in the face
Turns out the dorm toilet can't take a punch. Gonna be a long year without Mexican food.
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