I had a disgustingly explicit dream last night involving myself and lil wayne.
he's the Salvador Dali of pubic shaving
they just started talking about wanting to bang stephanie tanner from full house
8am blowjobs give a whole new meaning to morning breath..
you never know, standards drop, they turn gay, shit happens.
okay so using the row boat as a giant snow sled probably wasn't the best idea.
When i tried to give you something that wasn't tequila...like water....you kept saying it was against your religion.
I've always been the spiritual type.
I dare you try and top an Eiffel tower full of Margarita
Me and him getting it in is for special occasions only. Like Christmas and when they bring the McRib back.
I just came so hard my vision went blurry. I can only hope one day I'll find a man that can accomplish what my left hand does on a tri-daily basis.
Back at condo with chick. What is the condom situation urgent response needed
If we hadn't just agreed to no commitment, i'd totally propose right now. Best. Fuckbuddy. Ever.
Dude, Kevin called the cops on the cops.
Dude, he came to our house with a beer can in his hand dressed up in a chicken suit screaming, "free eggs!" then threw up and passed out in the front yard.
Forget about letting a 70-year-old man suck on my tits for coke... telling my new boyfriend about it was the poor life choice.
Randomize
