and when i screamed you came in my eye, i found out that everyone else in the room had only pretneded to be sleeping
The bartender let me pay my bar tab with my itunes giftcards.
thank you TLC waking up to a water birth on tv really put the cherry on top of my hangover...
We started a mustache riot at white castle at 4 in the morning. Will explain in detail.
the story is to long to tell you via txt so when you notice the tattoo on your ass call me.
My ex was here I looked him in the eyes when I grabbed some other guy by his belt and dragged him to a room
Guess who left Professor Cunt on their paper by accident?
She told me she loves her boyfreind while she was giving me head. He must be a nice guy
were you high?
When?
Actually just blanket yes to that question
In lieu of flowers, please donate to The Hungover Children's Fund in my name.
So apparently the only parts of last night I remember didn't actually happen.. When did vodka become a hallucinogen?
Did you just reference Ludacris during my possible pregnancy scare of 2012?!
We set around a table in a hotel room and he spoon fed Molly to everyone there... I felt sketch for sec but then... Oh well.
You sent me a naked picture of you as a child? How is that normal
Was just at a stoplight and some kid was smoking a blunt and we smiled at him and he offered to pass it between cars... Only in Rockford
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