Did u get laid? I went and bought lube and fleshlighted it while moaning ur name the whole time.
Well I thought that next 8 ball would either kill us or turn us into Gods
i think 'regret' was last night's theme. i could taste it in my mouth and woke up next to it.
Have you ever secretly resented a girl for wanting to have sex when all you really wanted to do was rub one out and go to sleep?
just saw an old couple make out...not too sure how I feel about it. though I will admit at one point I was thinking "oh yeah! get that!"
know what turns me on? long, stringy hair on a pasty looking girl with an overstuffed backpack and kneepads over her jeans in case she falls off her scooter
your less of a man for seeing that
my grandma was just praying before dinner, and before she could finish my gpa lifted his glass and said 'and here's to avatar!'
the last thing i remember saying is "hope you like body hair"
We fucked in my basement while hiding from the cops.. And now his Facebook picture is him and others holding up there MIP's in front of my house.. I feel obligated to add him as a friend.
You told me you would ride a pig into the night sky screaming, "I wear my sunglasses at night"
I'm still me, I just happen to have things in my porn library that you may not have expected
Only you would come out as bi like that
I wrote "fuck you meg" on my toaster strudel with the icing. I call it "passive aggressive breakfast"
So I wore my ankle step-counter exercise thingy while I rode him. Don't fuck him- I only burned .2 pounds.
I am that special "drink water and be grateful I'm alive" kind of hungover
He jerked off some dude with a slice of Wonder Bread.
The sports guy?
Yeah. They claimed the bread made it hetero
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