I just worked out and used handles of vodka as weights. Whoever said alcoholism is detrimental to you health obviously has no fucking idea.
You need to always be prepared. Like a sex firefighter.
I hope he says my name when they're having anniversary sex this weekend.
You threw an open can of pop at me while I was lying on the floor babbling and drooling about how I need to be alone forever, me and my leaking face.
he calls himself the gay cupid because he matches two guys looking to hookup on craigstlist with each other. get me out of here. please.
Most people would probably take his lack of responses as a queue to stop. But nope, not me. I just keep going. And that's why I don't have a bf, just a little weinered friend
Shame?!? Shame only comes from getting naked in front of strangers and it not being awesome
Yea we just broke up
so do we start sexting now or later?
I never want to do this again, I'm going to chew off several fingers and apply for disability
Shoot me. Oh my god shoot me. My moms ex "likes assholes"
He dislocated his shoulder trying to finger me last night if that tells you anything
The hair on my legs is officially flapping in the breeze when I walk. I must say, being single does have perks and this is one of them.
And you are going to be so turned on by my batman skills later
I'm just gonna ride this ego train to sex town
you asked me how to turn on the ladder
Randomize
