he's a nude model. what could you have done to make him feel awkward??
Gooodnight my beautiful sex angel. Much luvz for joo, etceteraz
No longer is one of my lifelong dreams to ride in a kangaroo pouch. You have eternally ruined that for me. Thank you.
DOMA is dead. I'm definitely going to be the last of our friends to get married now.
And I don't know if this is really ESP, or just a crazy feeling, but I'm pretty sure he has an std. Or at least a cold.
Is it considered a bad morning to find your boss half naked in the parking lot of work at 7am?
That depends, how hot is your boss?
You're right. I woke up today with my ugly sweater still on and no pants. I'd say it was a successful night.
Woke up and took my pants off only to realize that I was wearing my shirt from last night as my underwear
I have a txt file I don't remember making open on my desktop. All it says is "what it's like to be a bat"
She just walked out of her bedroom naked and asked me to help put her diaper on. Yeah, that pretty much sums up the last 24 hours...
Sometimes self-care is taking a shot of vodka and moving on.
Your life is a soap opera of great sex, cats, and booze.
He fucked the hangover right out of me. That good.
we went outside for a smoke and when we came back in you were ptfo on the floor holding the phone to your ear. Pizza pizza was on the line.
Fuck the system, do you have any medieval weapons?
Randomize
